Tuesday, April 12
Friday, April 8
“Wonder”
I really enjoy picturing scenes and writing it out. I used to do this a lot more when I used to let my mind drift more. I was walking home today, and this image struck me as I thought about wonder. Well first I thought how when we focus on the small things, they’ll never seem small until we give our attention to the larger things. And then I got caught up in wonder. Everytime I take a moment to look at the cross - no matter if it’s the million-th time I retell the gospel to myself or the millionth time I pause on His love for me - I’m caught in absolute wonder.
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The little boy sits cross legged with the small of his back up against the wall. The rest of his back is bent forward, his chin tucked close to his chest, and his bent elbows poke out from his sides. He’s lost himself with an object he holds as tightly as he does gently with extreme care. He turns his wrists backward, and the flakes respond. Satisfied, he clutches the globe a little more surely and he turns his wrists forward. There’s a noticeable delay, but there is no mistake - the flakes are moving to the flick of his wrists. He turns it upside down, and then back right side up. And as his amusement grows, so does his confidence and the speed at which he turns it, until with a grin on his face he’s rapidly flipping, twisting, and rolling the object around in his hands.
He whispers, “It’s snowing. It’s never going to stop.”
Suddenly he pauses and he stills his wrists. His eyebrows furrow in and he nestles his chin into his collarbone. Nothing in his world is moving; everything is still. Except for the flakes. For a moment he thought he had them suspended. But soon enough gravity neatly lines the white flakes together along the smooth curve of the glass.
Without any expression, he stares blankly through the glass - he wants to make sure everything is still. And it is. Not a single flake is caught suspended and threatening the clarity of the water. While holding the globe firmly as to not disturb a single flake, he first gets on his knees, and then with a single leg at a time he slowly stands up. He extends his arms with the globe in hand, and holds it inches above the shelf he first took it from. He puckers his lips and lets out a slow exhale.
And suddenly in one swift motion he turns the snow globe right side up and rests it on the shelf’s white veneer. And as the flakes drift slowly onto the miniature world below it, one can tell his heart is welling up with a satisfied fascination. There’s no surprise, he knew exactly what would happen. But wonder is not lost with faith nor knowledge for he stares on with his jaw slightly dropped and eyes rounder than the globe.
Thursday, April 7
sometimes
it’s not that you win or lose the battle.
but the battle loses all its appeal.
Without
Him. What meaning does anything hold? What purpose? What directive? What desire? What need?
What is anything without Him?
Tuesday, April 5
Belong
There’s something about a warm night that makes it feel like the warmth of the sun belongs in the coming morning. The sense of belonging is different from being wanted or needed. It’s more in tune with need if anything but still so different. A cold winter night makes me think that the day needs the warmth of the sun; the earth wants it. A warm spring night doesn’t make me think on the lines of need or desire but somewhere on a mutual tangent lies the sense of belonging. I guess, to me, it’s the right blend of both desire and need. I need to be here, but I also want to be here - I belong here.
Perhaps this is an obvious thing now that I write about it. But walking through the warm night certainly made me think about belonging. How different is one’s life and perception of things when they have no place where they feel like they belong? You don’t have to be there necessarily, but just to fully know that there is such a place is a life altering piece of knowledge.
And how much does it hurt and affect us when the places we always felt like we belong fail us?
I belong to Him. And in faith I fully believe I will be with Him face to face soon. He will never fail me - where I belong is eternal and guaranteed. Joy consumes my heart in this hope.
